Slow Down
Slowing down your morning routine and just noticing what your partner is wearing can help you get back on track, says Dr. Orbach. “This small behavioral change resets your brain to change speed. You begin to notice your partner, his behaviors, his patterns, his life.”

Talk
It sounds so basic, but talking often gets lost in the bustle of everyday life. Spend 10 minutes a day (every day!) with your spouse, talking about something other than work, family or who does what around the house. If you don’t know where to start, bring up something you saw that day or something you were thinking about.

Bring Back the Fun
“Just like you make work fun, or make that five-hour trip to your parents’ house fun, add new dimensions to your marriage, change things up, add new adventure,” says Dr. Haltzman. Your goal: one or two new things a month. Some ideas: Take a class together, play paintball or even speak pig Latin to each other for a day. “Get back to things that turned each of you on when you were dating—including the flowers, picking her up at the front doorstep and taking the car parking,” he says.

Act Married and Stick It Out
Don't stray. “Fidelity isn't for sissies,” says Weiner-Davis. “People think if they are unhappy, that there is a problem in their marriage. But up to 80 percent of individuals consider divorce at some time,” says Dr. Haltzman. There is little difference, he says, between couples who divorce and those who stick it out. “The real difference is the ones who stuck it out have moved past the problem and have moved ahead to feel closer—in no small part because they went through the rough spot together.”

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