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All these memories sped by in about two seconds, leaving me about three seconds to respond before Ryan would get suspicious and think I had actually expected to be playing golf with him and his friend.
这所有的回忆在两秒间一闪而过。在瑞恩起疑心,想到我原以为要和他还有他的朋友一起打高尔夫球之前,我大概有三秒的时间思考该怎么回应。
I had to say something. I wanted to say this: “How could you do this to me? Throw me overboard like unused crab bait?” We had always been a team. But this was abandonment. Adult abuse. Why did it all have to change?
我得说些什么。我本想这么对他说:“你怎么能这样对我?把我像那些没用过的螃蟹诱饵一般扔下船?” 我们过去一直都是上阵不离父子兵的。可这回你却抛弃了我,伤害了我这个大人。为什么一切都变了?
Enough of this mind-wandering. I needed to 11)level with him. I needed to express how hurt I was. Share my 12)gut-level feelings. Muster all the courage I could find, 13)bite the bullet, and spill my soul.
够了,别再这样胡思乱想了。我要对他坦白。我要表达自己受到的伤害有多大,告诉他我内心深处的感受,鼓起我所有的勇气,硬着头皮,尽诉心里话。
So I said, “Me? Play? 14)Naw. You know I’m 15)up to my ears in the remodel project.”
然而我却说:“我?去打高尔夫球?不是啦。你知道我要装修浴室,正忙得不可开交呢。”
We drove on in silence for a few moments. Then, I dropped him and Jared off, wished them luck, and headed for home. My son was on his own now. Nobody there to tell him how to 16)fade a five-iron, how to hit the 17)sand shot. And what if there’s lightning? What about 18)hypothermia? A 19)runaway golf cart? He’s so small. Who would take care of him? 
我们在沉默中行驶了一会儿。接着,我放下他和贾莱德,祝他们好运,就把车开回家了。我儿子现在没有我在身边了。那儿没人会告诉他怎样挥动5号铁杆打出左/右曲球,如何打沙坑球。如果有闪电怎么办?如果他体温过低怎么办?如果高尔夫球车失控怎么办?他年纪这么小。谁来照看他?
There I was, alone, driving away from him. Not just for now. Forever. This was it. The bond was broken. Life would never be the same.
我独自一人,驾车驶离了儿子。不仅是这刻,而是永远地驶离了他。就这样,我俩的关系破裂了。生活不再如往常。
I walked in the door. “What are you doing home?” my wife asked.
I knew it would sound like some 13-year-old who was the only one in the gang not invited to the 20)slumber party, but maintaining my immature 21)demeanor, I said it anyway “I wasn’t invited,” I replied, with a trace of snottiness.
Then my wife laughed. Out loud. At first I was hurt. Then I, too, laughed, the situation suddenly becoming much clearer.
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