iends who want to split don't go to counseling or get a mediator or a lawyer, as divorcing couples do. And there typically aren't a bunch of nosy relatives willing to intervene and relay messages, as there are when a split is within a family.
　　问题是，对于朋友之间的分手，并没有什么规则可言，甚至没有社交惯例可循。要分手的朋友不会像离婚的夫妻一样去找顾问咨询，或是找个调解人或律师。与夫妻分手不同的时，朋友分手通常也没有一大群叽叽喳喳的亲戚想要干预或在中间传话。

　　Also, dissolving a friendship is harder than ever these days, with so many digital ties holding us together, from social-networking Web sites like Facebook to stored numbers in cellphones.
　　此外，与朋友分手如今变得比以往更难了，因为有那么多的数字纽带将我们连在一起，从Facebook等社交网站到手机上存储的电话号码。

　　Dave Nadkarni can tell you all about it. When he decided to end a relationship a few years ago with a close female friend he felt was spreading rumors about him, he stopped returning her calls, defriended her on Facebook, blocked her on his instant-message list, stopped following her on Twitter and changed her name in his cellphone to 'Do Not Pick Up.' 'It was cathartic,' he says.
　　大卫•纳德卡尼(Dave Nadkarni)对此深有感触。几年前他决定和一位他觉得说自己坏话的红颜知己绝交的时候，他不回她的电话，在Facebook不再把她列为好友，在即时消息名单上把她屏蔽掉，不再关注她的“推文”，把手机中她的名字改成了“不要接听”。他说，这真像是来了一场大扫除。

　　But it didn't work. His friend got the hint and stopped calling him, and he has successfully avoided seeing her in real life. But he still runs into her constantly online, every time a mutual friend retweets her Twitter posts or she leaves a comment on a mutual Facebook friend's status update.
　　不过却没有用。他的那个女性朋友明白了他的暗示，不再给他打电话，现实生活中他也成功地得以避免再见到她。不过他仍会经常在网上碰到她，比如每次他们共同的朋友把她的“推文”转给他，或是她在共同的Facebook朋友的状态更新中留言的时候。

　　'It sucks,' says Mr. Nadkarni, 29, a sales rep for a security company in Las Vegas. 'It's like the dog that's stuck on your leg that you can't shake off.'
　　现年29岁的纳德卡尼是拉斯维加斯一家安保公司的销售代表。他说，太糟糕了，就像是一只咬着你腿不放、你怎么都摆脱不掉的狗。

　　So how do you finish off a friendship? Are some ways better than others?
　　你是如何结束一场友谊的？有没有什么好的分手方法？

　　Psychologists recommend ending a friendship in a way that avoids collateral damage with mutual friends, spouses and coworkers, and allows you to start it up again later, if you want. So don't hurl insults. Don't assign blame. Try to be polite.
　　心理学家建议，结束友谊的方式要尽量避免给共同的朋友、配偶和同事造成连带伤害，还要为你以后一旦想要恢复交往留下余地。所以，不要大声谩骂，不要怪罪对方，而是要尽量保持礼貌。

　　Here are some tips:
　　以下提供一些建议：

　　-- Take a deep breath. If you're mad, give yourself time to calm down. You want to be sure you really want to end the friendship.
　　--深吸一口气。如果你快气疯了，给自己时间冷静下来。你要确定自己真的想要结束两人之间的友谊。

　　-- Try a temporary separation. you might find you miss each other and want to get back together. Hey, it has worked for married couples.
　　--尝试暂时分开。你可能会发现你们都想念对方，希望恢复交往。至少这种方法对夫妻是有效的。

　　-- Lie. Claim to be super busy -- blame work or the kids. the experts are with me on this. They say the time to be up-front and honest with your friends is before a breakup.
　　--善意的谎言。说自己忙得不可开交，就说工作太忙或孩子需要照顾。在这点上，专家们和我的看法是一致的。他们说，真要到了分手的时候，你再对朋友直截了当地说实话。

　　-- Go slowly, especially if it's a close relationship.
　　--慢慢来,特别是如果你们是非常要好的朋友。

　　-- Foist your unwanted friend off on another friend. friends of mine have used this strategy on me before. (They know who They are.)
　　--把自己要绝交的朋友塞给另外一个朋友。我的朋友就曾对我用过这个方法。（谁做的谁知道。）

　　-- Become a Facebook pest. I have a gay friend who has had much success getting rid of bigoted high school friends by making his status updates as flamboyant and politically charged as possible.
　　--成为Facebook上的讨人嫌。我有一个朋友是同性恋,他成功地摆脱了顽固不化的高中朋友,他的方法就是把自己的状态更新尽量弄得花哨、充满政治色彩。

　　-- Issue an ultimatum -- but be prepared to lose your friends.
　　--发最后通牒，不过你要准备好失去你的朋友。

　　That's what happened to Nelson De Sousa. Last spring, he repeatedly got into heated arguments with his two best friends from high school, whom he been close to for more than 20 years. He felt they were too sympathetic to his wife's point of view after his divorce. In one day, he screamed at them both on the phone. Each of them hung up on him.
　　尼尔森•德索萨(Nelson De Sousa)就有这样的遭遇。去年春天，他和高中时两个最要好的朋友时常陷入激烈的争吵──他们已经是20多年的朋友了。他感觉在自己离婚之后，他们过于同情他妻子的观点。终于有一天，他在电话中冲着两人都大叫了。两个人都挂了他的电话。

　　For months after that, Mr. De Sousa says there was a 'cold war atmosphere' in the friendship. When he called his friends, they often refused to pick up the phone. When they did, they were icy to him.
　　德索萨说，之后好几个月，他们的友谊都处于冷战气氛。当他打电话给他们的时候，对方常常拒绝接听。即使是接了，对他的态度也是冷冰冰的。

　　Finally, he'd had enough. So he left a message for each one of them on their home phones: 'Tag, you're it. I'm not playing this game anymore. The ball is in your court.' That was last August. He hasn't heard from them since.
　　最后，他受够了。所以，他分别在两人家里的电话上留言说，好吧，我不再玩这个游戏了，球现在在你那半场了。这件事是去年8月份发生的，之后他再也没有收到过他们的消息。

　　Now Mr. De Sousa can't hear any music by bands that were big when he was in high school, such as Duran Duran, New Order, R.E.M. or James, without feeling sad. And to make matters worse, he got engaged last week and would love to sha

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