“You have the right to remain clothed!”

We imagine that Mesa, Arizona police said something to that effect to 44-year-old Susan Pollack, who claimed she was only trying to cool off.

In her defense – it is Mesa, Arizona.

But just in case you never get to experience this sort of thing in your own life, we'll run it down for you.

It's 5:30 p.m., smack dab in the middle of a Mesa city park. Enjoying the wonders of nature, a father and his three children stroll by Susan's park bench and get a little more nature than dad had bargained on. The birds-and-bees talk that parents tend to put off may have jumped to the front burner.

For there was Ms. Pollack, snoozing next to an empty bottle of vodka, and sporting nothing but a T-shirt rolled up above her breasts. The breezes that she felt at that moment were no doubt the gasps of dad and the giggles and titters of confused yet curious kids.

Susan was charged with indecent exposure. She will add this to her extensive resume of criminal activities, which includes prior convictions for assault, criminal trespassing, criminal damage and disorderly conduct.

And lest you're worried about traumatized children, we're reminded of the story of the 6-year-old who tells his dad that he just saw three streakers run by. When the concerned father asks if they were boys or girls, the kid responds:

“I couldn't tell, they weren't wearing any clothes.”