I have had the honor and opportunity to be present with several people in death, as well as in their life. This past week as I sought to soothe and comfort a friend of mine whose husband is making his transition, I took some time to reflect on the similarities that I have observed over the years when people make their transitions and move on. The application, or focus, of their spirit from this life to another. Applied spirituality in action.

My first experience with death, up close and personal was my Grandmother. She lived with us when I was growing up and was not just a grandmother, but much like another mother to me. She was born in 1900 and died in 1991. The last two years of her life were spent in a nursing facility because my mother and dad simply could not give her the physical care she required. My grandmother was pretty unhappy about this; but Mom and Dad visited her at least once a day and often twice, spending meals with her. The last year of her life she kind of "went away". She kept her eyes closed and seemed to be watching a movie. She wasn't in a coma nor did she suffer with any dementia or Alzheimer's. If you called her name, she would open her eyes and be present with you. She was simply otherwise occupied. I don't know what she was focusing on, memories of days past or visions of things to come, but I do know that underneath those closed eyelids, her eyes were always moving.

She had little appetite, as well as little interest in the stories I would tell her or the jokes I would crack. She was polite, kind and loving as she would listen; but then she would ask me to go Home. After a very little while, I realized this was her process of refocusing from this plane of existence to another. My Gran was 90 years old and had lived a very good, long life. So there was no regret about lost chances, but still, I knew I would miss her and there, was my pain. Gran had none. Yet, I wondered, why was she hanging on? There was really nothing "wrong" with her, so to speak. She had no diseases. She was simply old. However, my Mother had never been without her. From the time my Mother was married, her mother, my Gran lived with her. It was Mom who could not accept and could not let go. For the last year I realized that Gran was just hanging out waiting for Mom to accept and release her. This came about one weekend when the attending doctor advised that he would have to amputate some of Gran's toes, due to lack of circulation. This news my Mother could not bear, and so she finally acknowledged that Gran needed and even wanted to move on.

Within hours of my Mom having her private chat with Gran, Gran passed away beautifully in her sleep. I learned these things:

I learned witnessing this process that people are connected and have "agreements". When the "agreements" are fulfilled, they move on

learned that there is a withdrawal process from this focus and a refocusing into the new plane.

I learned that the process is elegant and beautifully orchestrated.

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