`I shall not know that till it comes,' he said, `I'm only half conscious of it now.

`You have no feelings of illness, have you?' I asked.

`No, Nelly, I have not,' he answered.

`Then you are not afraid of death?' I pursued.

`Afraid? No!' he replied. `I have neither a fear, nor a presentiment, nor a hope of death. Why should I? `With my hard constitution and temperate mode of living, and unperilous occupations, I ought to, and probably shall, remain above ground till there is scarcely a black hair on my head. And yet I cannot continue in this condition! I have to remind myself to breathe--almost to remind my heart to beat! And it is like bending back a stiff spring; it is by compulsion that I do the slightest act not prompted by one thought; and by compulsion that I notice anything alive or dead, which is not associated with one universal idea. I have a single wish, and my whole being and faculties are yearning to attain It. They have yearned towards it so long, and so unwaveringly, that I'm convinced it will be reached--and soon--because it has devoured my existence: I am swallowed up in the anticipation of its fulfilment. My confessions have not relieved me; but they may account for some otherwise unaccountable phases of humour which I show. O God! It is a long fight, I wish it were over!'

He began to pace the room, muttering terrible things to himself, till I was inclined to believe, as he said Joseph did, that conscience had turned his heart to an earthly hell. I wondered greatly how it would end. Though he seldom before had revealed this state of mind, even by looks, it was his habitual mood, I had no doubt: he asserted it himself; but not a soul, from his general bearing, would have conjectured the fact. You did not when you saw him, Mr Lockwood: and at the period of which I speak he was just the same as then; only fonder of continued solitude, and perhaps still more laconic in company.

那个星期一之后，恩萧仍然不能去作他的日常工作，因此就逗留在屋里，我很快地发觉要像以前那样担任照顾我身边的小姐之责，是行不通的了。她比我先下楼，并且跑到花园里去，她曾看见过她表哥在那儿干些轻便活；当我去叫他们来吃早点的时候，我看见她已经说服他在醋栗和草莓的树丛里清出一大片空地。他们正一起忙着栽下从田庄移来的植物。

在短短的半小时之内竟完成这样的大破坏把我吓坏了；这些黑醋栗树是约瑟夫的宝贝，她偏偏在这些树当中选了布置她的花圃的地方。

“好呀！这种事只要一被发觉，”我叫，“那可全要给主人发现了。你们这样自由处理花园有什么借口呢？事到临头，我们可要有场热闹了：没有才怪呢，哈里顿先生，我不懂你怎么这样糊涂，竟听她的吩咐胡闹！”

“我忘记这是约瑟夫的了，”恩萧回答，有点吓呆了，“可是我要告诉他是我搞的。”

我们总是和希刺克厉夫先生一道吃饭的。我代替女主人，做倒茶切肉的事。所以在饭桌上是缺不了我的。凯瑟琳通常坐在我旁边，但是今天她却偷偷地靠近哈里顿些；我立刻看出她在友谊上比以前在敌对关系上还更不慎重。

“现在，你可记住别跟你表哥多说话，也别太注意他，”这就是在我们进屋时我低声的指示。“那一定会把希刺克厉夫先生惹烦了的，他就会跟你们俩发火的。”

“我才不会呢，”她回答。

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