Your true potential is enhanced by the sum of all the people who like you, and thus would go out of their way to assist you in a time of need. Unfortunately, there is no quick-fix guide for becoming extremely likeable. Likeability is tied deeply into some of your most stubborn, long-standing habits and behaviors. “Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster. Your life will never be the same again.”—Og Mandino

As with conquering any major personal change, it takes time and practice. These twenty-one steps will get you there.

1. Be Attentive to Others and Never Stop Listening
Self-centered people are usually unlikable. When you’re involved in a conversation, it’s important to focus more on the other person and less on yourself. If you genuinely concern yourself with others and listen to them closely, you’ll make scores of friends with little effort. Remember, everybody loves a good listener.

2. Compliment People Who Deserve It
Go out of your way to personally acknowledge and compliment the people who have gone out of their way to shine. Everybody likes to hear that their efforts are appreciated.

3. Make Yourself Available and Approachable
If people cannot get a hold of you, or have trouble approaching you, they will forget about you. Your general availability and accessibility to others is extremely important to them. Always maintain a positive, tolerant attitude and keep an open line of communication to those around you.

4. Speak Clearly so People Can Understand You
Most people have a very low tolerance for dealing with people they can’t understand. Mystery does not fuel strong relationships and likeability.

5. Never Try to Be Someone You’re Not
All people have the subconscious ability to detect a liar. Even academy award winning actors slip up every now and then. Fake people are not likeable. Ask yourself this: If you don’t like who you really are, why the heck should I like you?

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