Be Unpredictable

"Long-term relationships are based on trust, dependability and predictability," says Dr. Kerner. That's great when it comes to finances and raising a family, but in the bedroom—not so much. Mystery can create the romance you're missing. "Sometimes I tell my husband to expect a 'surprise' after the kids go to bed. The anticipation alone keeps him excited all day long," says Eunice Carreira of Kaneohe, Hawaii.

Engage in a Heart-Pumping Activity

If you're looking for a great date idea for Valentine's Day or any other day, consider an adrenaline-pumping activity such as skiing, snowboarding or skydiving. According to Dr. Kerner, adrenaline makes the heart grow fonder by boosting dopamine in the brain. (Dopamine is the same feel-good hormone that is released after sex.)

Schedule a Date

Hire a babysitter and pencil in dinner with your man just as you would for a client or old college friend. Staci Christmas of Avon Park, Florida, and her husband frequently go out on date nights. "You need time to be away from kids, family and work to relax and reconnect," she says.

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