So what are the costs of waiting while dating?  First, you give up the possibility of delicious, hot sex.  That’s right.  Those partners who are not looking for a lasting relationship will disappear on you the minute you say no.  (Some of my most loyal male readers and at times my most venomous critics on my PT blog probably fit into this category; you know who you are…) My advice to you . . . consider this an entry fee.  Second, you give up the great fantasies and sexual freedom associated with having wild no-strings-attached sex.  Finally, some of you, after a few months of abstinence, might become sexually frustrated (OK—all of you).  I do have good news and some advice, however.  Most, I believe, have figured out ways to self-soothe. (If not, Google “masturbation”).

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So the takeaway here is, learn to discriminate by taking your time. As the song goes, "The Waiting is the Hardest Part," but it is also more likely to result in a love that lasts.

Diana Kirschner Ph.D.'s bestselling dating advice book, is the basis for her PBS Special on love. It's just out in paperback with a new chapter on Dating Games Men Play. Dr. Diana is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show. She has been married to a "good" man for over 25 years. Connect with Dr. Diana and get her free relationship advice E-course at Dating Advice TV.

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