This might seem like an odd question. Who’s in charge of your life? Who tells you what to do? Who says which choices are valid, and which are silly or self-indulgent?

On the surface of it, if you’re an adult, there’s probably no-one standing next to you and telling you exactly what you should be doing. But many of us have ceded control of our lives to someone else. Often unconsciously, we’ve taken on their values, even their likes and dislikes, and we’ve made them their own.

Do you ever feel that you “should” be doing something that you aren’t? Why? Is that impulse really from within you, or is it from your family, friends, or the society around you?

I’ll take you through some of the common people who we put in charge of our lives – and I’ll show you how to make sure the right person is in charge!

So, who’s controlling how you live your life? Is it...

...Your Parents?
Now, if you’ve left home, you might think that your parents don’t have any control over you any more. Well, they don’t have legal or physical control – but they can still be a huge influence.

Here are some typical ways in which people let their parents stay in control of their lives. Are you falling into any of these patterns?

    * Taking a college course that your parents wanted, rather than doing what you want

    * Going into the career that your parents recommend for you, instead of following your dreams

    * Seeking parental approval and resisting making choices which might upset or anger your parents

    * Ditching a partner who your parents don’t approve of

    * Bringing up your kids in the way which your parents suggest

If you think your parents are having an undue influence on the way you live, then remember that you’re an adult. If you’re dependent on them for finances or other resources, start working to become independent. Your parents probably do want the best for you – and even if following your dreams leads to some initial conflict (mine were a bit shocked when I quit my job to freelance!) you’ll find that they’re often even more proud of you for striking out on your own.

[1] [2] [3] 下一页