...Your Peers?
How often are your choices dictated by your friends and colleagues? Again, you’ll want to give this some thought – it isn’t always obvious. But your peer group can be a huge influence on:

    * How you spend your money – perhaps you all buy lunch out each day, or you end up getting a new phone just because all your friends have one

    * How you spend your time – what group activities do you engage in? Are these meaningful to you – or would you rather do something else?

    * Whether you drink too much, overeat, or smoke. We often match our behavior to the people around us: statistically, if you have overweight friends, you’re likely to be overweight too.

I’m certainly not suggesting that you should ditch your friends. Rather, you should start standing up for what you want to do. Think about your own values. If you’d rather spend less, drink less, party less (or do all of these things more!) than your friends, then you need to give yourself permission – no-one else is going to. True friends won’t care, they’ll celebrate your differences. And false friends will drop away.

...Society?
Sometimes, the people controlling our lives aren’t even people we know. They’re media moguls, or celebrities, or journalists. They might even be bloggers or a particular community around one of your hobbies.

When society’s in control, it can look like this:

    * You often buy products because you’ve seen them advertised

    * You feel pulled in several directions at once – you’re trying to follow conflicted messages

    * Some of your choices feel like they’re “wrong”: you might even remember a specific article or TV program which made you feel that way

    * The thought of following a different path to most folk (perhaps working for yourself, or traveling the world, or homeschooling your kids) is almost unthinkable – you can’t imagine it working

We’re all social creatures, and it’s natural for us to look at what other people do to figure out what works. But don’t get caught up in the herd. You’re a unique person, with your own skills, talents, likes and dislikes. The world can’t decide what’s right for you – only you can do that.

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