She checked the date - he had told her he was out with 'a few work colleagues'.

Then she went online and found he had been seeing someone for the past year - his calls were logged on his account on the internet.

The problem is that you may find out things you don't want to know. You may find out your husband is cheating on you, that he has lied to you - and it's possible to find out things even worse than that.

One friend of mine found a cache of intimate pictures his mistress had taken of herself. It made her feel so sick she walked out of the door and never went back. I agreed that it was a humiliation too far.

But let's say it's not as bad as that. What if it's a few flirtatious text messages? An over-emotional email to an ex-girlfriend?

What do you do? Make a fuss and demand constant honesty? Think again. Even if your husband vows to end it, who's to say it really is over?

Men can be devious. They just find new passwords for their accounts and get a new telephone.

Short of stalking them every single minute of the day, what more can you do?

In fact, I know some women who are so obsessed with the idea that their husband might be having an affair that they go to all sorts of electronic shenanigans trying to find out - they lie to mobile phone companies to get past records, they go online and set up 'honeytraps' for their husbands.

I, for one, have no time for this. Our electronic suspicions are killing our marriages. It is time to leave those mobile phones where they are and learn to trust again.

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