People are always talking about the "epidemic" of poor nutrition among today's youth and America's obesity "problem." It's almost like they think being a big, fat person is somehow less than totally awesome. Well, I'm a fat guy, and I'm here to tell you, don't knock it till you've tried it.

In case you're still not convinced, just a few of the amazing perks of carrying the effects of a decade of late-night burritos and Pop-Tart ice cream sandwiches around your midsection.

1. Goodbye, Stain Explanations!
No more lengthy and embarrassing explanations on where the stain on your shirt came from. Everybody knows and understands that it's mustard ... from your sandwich ... that you ate between lunch and second after-lunch snack.

2. Year-Round Shorts
Like a majestic walrus, chubby guys pack their own insulation. This means that your body is equipped to handle the chilliest of rib-offs wearing nothing but a hoodie and your double XL gym shorts. Be forewarned, though -- this heating effect can also result in socially unacceptable perspiration.

3. Intimidation
Prime time for muggin' is at night,and you can't tell whether your potential victim 20 yards up the street is fat or built like a radioactive steroid freak. Be aware, though, that if running comes into play, a larger circumference of the human body can prove counterproductive in terms of speed, agility and stamina.

4. Teddy Bear Appeal
This is an aspect of being a chubby guy that can go either way. The right kind of girl will bust out the old "You're like a big fluffy teddy bear!" line, and in that case you have a good chance of sealing the deal. However, sometimes when this phrase shoots forth from some cherry-red lips ... you just landed yourself in the friend zone. Be cautious with your Teddy Bear appeal.

Keep reading to find out the top 5 wonders an XXXL lifestyle can bring you.

5. Honorary Boobs
The fascination with the female breast has been ingrained into the male psyche from the time of ancient man. As your girth begins to display it's bulbous fruits, you might notice that smack dab in the middle of your chest are large jiggly planet-like growths. Don't be frightened. Yes, they are hairy ... but they are your very own boobs! AWESOME!!

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