6. Automatic Dibs
The cold stare shot across the table between kin vying for the same slice of pecan pie can lead to an unpleasant atmosphere. Not when there's a chubby guy around! It's universally understood that we're gonna get that piece of pie.

7. Replacement of Furniture
As your belly begins to grow, you will no longer need certain items of furniture. Coffee tables and end tables all become obsolete. When reclined, simply place any item you need directly on your gut. Your lighter, the remote control, even a bowl of cereal will fit comfortably alongside one another, safely atop your man-shelf.

8. Airplane Rights Revolution
It's not very often that you get your very own revolution to participate in! The spherical and squishy genius Kevin Smith was thrown off an airplane for being gravitationally inclined. This event was chub society's "shot heard round the world." The overweight aren't gonna take this lying down ... they'll probably attempt to un-recline. Fly high, fat bird! Fly high.

9. Advanced Understanding of Pop Culture
Being of the large persuasion will automatically start killing your attachment to physical movement. A pleasant side effect of this lack of interest in being mobile is your absorption of all the goings-on in the world via the TV and the Internet. Absolutely no moving is required! Plus, you'll be able to dominate trivia games with friends and family ... as long as they come to you.

10. Inherent Understanding of Fine Dining
When traveling and searching for acceptable eateries, no one will point you in the right direction quicker than a fat dude. Wanna find the best wings? The most delicious sushi? A local chunkster will know them all. Once inaugurated into chubby-guy society, the Ancient Wisdom of the Ages opens your third eye and pours local cuisine knowledge into your head with a gravy boat.

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