Subs: Wiese, Jansen, Aogo, Tasci, Kiessling, Badstuber, Trochowski, Cacau, Kroos, Marin, Gomez, Butt.

Tempting Fate Or An Elaborate Double Bluff To Bodyswerve It? dept. "Given his 'tin hat' picture in the Daily Star, the choice of referee for the match, and his loss of form, may we just write 'Wayne Rooney' in the space on scoresheet under 'Red cards'?" wonders Lou Roper. "Or are you taking bets on when Mr Larrionda will reach for his pocket? 'Just Roo It', indeed. Has, ironically, Nike written the future in that advert?" Rooney - so well behaved for Manchester United in recent times - has been in a strange mood this World Cup, from his fcuk-u shoes to stomping off the pitch against Slovenia with a face on. But surely he's old enough, and bruised enough by bitter major-tournament experience, to keep control of his temper here. England can't afford many off days today, least of all one suffered by their most potent attacker.

As an aside, here are the only players to have scored more goals in the final stages of the World Cup than Miroslav Klose, who has scored 11 at the 2002, 2006 and 2010 tournaments: Ronaldo (15 at 1998, 2002 and 2006), Gerd Muller (14 at 1970 and 1974), Just Fontaine (13 at 1958) and Pele (12 at 1958, 1962, 1966 and 1970). Alongside Klose on 11 are Jurgen Klinsmann (1990, 1994 and 1998) and Sándor Kocsis (1954). I mean, Miroslav Klose and Sándor Kocsis, for goodness sake.

Tempting Fate Or An Elaborate Double Bluff To Bodyswerve It? dept. II: "Why is Alan Hansen writing the Germans off so readily?" wonders a surprised Nick Higgins, who has somehow gone through the last decade without once catching the BBC pundit phoning it in. "He's dismissed them as 'average' and 'nothing to write home about'. Is that Scot trying to test fate in the Germans' favour?" Meanwhile George Reader was "really impressed" with Germany's reaction to Klose's red card against Serbia in the group stage, even if it didn't quite come off for them, and fears for England. "Klose came off the pitch, no histrionics, Joachim Low gave him a botty tap and implemented plan B, control in defense, look for an opportunity. How can England combat (a Blitzy type word) such organization? I am over the international Rooney era already, let's get a player on who has some gusto. Reverse psychology going on here, of course. I am going to be drunk later, I suspect." You and 87% of the country, George, whatever happens.

The sole benefit of England's white kit: "A friend of mine has been championing England changing their home kit to red for years, ever since the infamous grey Euro 96 strip, and it doesn't seem to have become any more likely," writes Eddie Robson. "I like it how it is, personally: when you see some teams in their away kit you think 'Who are you?', especially since lots of teams play in white away. England are recognisable in both kits. Although sometimes they do play as if they're not recognisable to each other."

For anyone nervously fidgeting during the countdown to kick-off: Kill some time looking at this, photographs of the original balls of every World Cup between 1930 and 2010. "Isn't this beautiful?" asks Gary Naylor. It is indeed, Gary. Murray's Incontestable Football Statements (No2 in what was initially planned to be a series of 1): Of the modern era, you can't beat the Telstar. Everything since is either not quite right, or a whole world of wrong.

The referee plucks Kick Off Ball from Kick Off Ball Plinth, and with that the teams take to the field. The anthems are played. First Germany's. Then a song about God saving the head of the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha. That's not fair! Germany have had two. Don't England get a turn? The red-clad English players take it well, though, shaking hands along the line with their counterparts in white shirts and black shorts. The wait is over. We're about to get going...

And we're off! The first big-name clash of the 2010 World Cup (yes it is, let's not be cynical) is under way. England get the ball rolling, and pass it around the back for 16 seconds before hoofing it long for Defoe. The striker saves the ball going out of play, but can't find a team-mate, nobody having anticipated the move along with him. Michael Basler has sent us an article on Germans rooting for other countries. "Apparently, the hip cats in Berlin join the English today," he writes. "It's a bit like Shoreditch there, just with a lesser sense of humor." Lesser? Oh my dear God. That can't be true. You've never been to Shoreditch, have you? Some people have all the luck.

3 min: An early burst from Germany, Ozil and Podolski linking down the left. Barry comes across and breaks up play with a minimum of fuss. The England fans cheer loudly.

4 min: Rooney breaks clear down the inside-left channel, but he's pulled back for offside. What a frown on him! He's got the battle fever on alright.

5 min: Ozil breaks down the i

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