The Oversharer

This is the person in whose honor the popular term “T.M.I.” (too much information) was coined, so feel free to use it when the oversharer begins to reveal the gory details of her sex life, health issues and/or most recent dramatic bathroom episodes. Smith’s other suggestion: “Shh! Someone might overhear you!” Gottsman likes, “Sorry, this is a topic I wouldn’t even discuss with my own mother!”

The Constant Competitor

Making one-upmanship into an art form, this type reflexively negates even your most innocuous social updates with braggy accounts of her own (apparently much more impressive) accomplishments, purchases, travels and children. “This person probably acts this way because she is seeking attention and wants to feel important and included,” Whitmore says. Of course, that doesn’t make the behavior any less of a turnoff. Rather than feed into back-and-forth competition, let her next one-up put an end to your conversation. If, as you mention your trip to Napa Valley, she cuts in with a tale of Sicilian vineyards, say, “Oh, that’s nice,” and let the conversation awkwardly end. Maybe she’ll take a hint.

The Small-Talker

With this type, it’s exceedingly difficult to progress the conversation much past “How are you today?” She may make only generic comments about the weather or the nice house where the party is being held. A chronic small-talker remains firmly in that mode, even when you’ve known her for quite a while. “You can get real with this person if you know the right questions to ask,” Whitmore says. “Rather than simply ask what profession she is in, ask what the biggest challenge she’s having at work these days is.” Or, ask how she got into the profession in the first place and whether it’s what she always wanted to do. Or bring up a hobby of your own and ask what her recreational interests are.

The Smack Talker

There’s harmless gossip and then there’s the relentless, mean-spirited stream of misinformation that comes from this acquaintance’s lips. It’s better to avoid this person or risk being associated with her—especially in work situations. “You could say, ‘I don’t think it’s fair to talk about Missy without her here to give us her side of the story. Shall we call her?’” Gottsman says. “Most people don’t gossip to be mean but to make conversation,” Whitmore notes. “Why not politely help that person understand that her words could be hurtful or destructive in the current setting? You could always turn the tables and ask how she’d feel if someone was saying that about her.”

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