如何做一名好的倾听者？

Back in the day, I had a friend who was, well … average looking. Definitely not ugly, but hardly Helen of Troy. Yet boys fell for her left, right, and center—like cockroaches after a generous spray of Raid.

The reason? She had an incredible gift.

No matter what you had to say, or how drop-dead boring your topic of conversation, she listened with such rapt and wide-eyed attention that you felt like a CNN news anchor reporting a late-breaking news story. Every single time.

Everyone loves a good listener. But there are more reasons to develop the skill of listening than just to win hearts or popularity contests.

Listening heals hurts and builds bridges. It gives us the ability to understand and empathize, to view the world from more than just our own (often shortsighted) eyes. It can bring us wisdom over and above mere intelligence. But most importantly, it allows us to give the people around us the gifts they crave most … time, attention, and a sense of worth.

As it turns out, there’s more to good listening than just keeping quiet and allowing someone to speak—though that in itself is a laudable feat. Effective listening is actually a combination of two key communication skills: listening and verifying.

Even when we’ve miraculously managed to hear a person’s entire message (without zoning out or interrupting), we often interpret it wrong—according to our own understanding, experience, or prejudice.

As an effective listener, your goal is hear and absorb what another has to say … in exactly the way they mean it to be understood. Only then can you respond appropriately.

[1] [2] 下一页