As years go by, the definition of beauty can change dramatically. What has not changed, however, are the wacky methods utilized by otherwise rational women in their quest for beauty and physical perfection. Women are always seeking out the new, best and quickest ways to tighten, primp, and stop the natural aging process. Beauty-enhancing gadgets may look differently than they did in years past, but the crazy beauty gadgets below are similar in their overall ineffectual and laughable uselessness.

No. 9: Love My Bubbles Butt Pads and Hip Pad Briefs

In this age of Bootylicious and Jennifer Lopez, women without extra “junk in the trunk” are looking for easy ways to create a more luscious behind. Butt pads are more rational than butt implants or other dangerous invasive surgeries, but the notion of stuffing your underwear should not be a realistic one for grown women. Love My Bubbles Butt Pads are available in many different shapes and sizes, such as oval or round. The Butt Pads are then inserted into your specially equipped Love My Bubbles panties, which have back pockets sewn into them. And while this product could initially sound tempting, the Butt Pads are not made to provide the lift of a toned butt, but rather, they simply make your butt look bigger. On a similar note, Love My Bubbles Hip Pad Briefs claim to create an instant hourglass figure for women wearing them. Also available in different shapes, sizes, materials, and colors, hip pads are advertised as the simple way for women to miraculously achieve desirable feminine curves. But realistically, the Hip Pad Briefs only place a bunch of stuffing around your midsection. This makes for a really embarrassing experience should anyone happen to touch this area; the cat will be out of the bag, so to speak.

No. 8: Cellu Smooth

It looks like some bizarre contraption from a retro-futuristic movie set, but it is definitely not the future of cellulite removal. With Cellu Smooth, ultrasound waves are supposed to penetrate deep into the skin to break down that unwanted cellulite. Ultrasonic vibrations theoretically cause skin cells to heat up and break down fatty deposits, which are then disposed of naturally through the body. Unfortunately, there is no scientific proof that the ultrasound method works against cellulite, and clearly there is no evidence that Cellu Smooth works. In fact, there is no way strong ultrasound waves can be created in this home setting, at least not enough to ever make a difference to those suffering from cellulite. However, you will love this gadget if you want red, irritated skin and you enjoy rubbing meaningless devices over your body for long periods of time.

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